Since the Land Rover announced that it would stop making its cult-favourite The Defender, stocks in the iconic Jeep Wrangler have skyrocketed, which makes total sense. Just look at it. This is a car that some of the most incredible off-road abilities of any car, and yet the rugged good looks are so badass this beast wouldn’t look out of place riding down the streets of LA’s Rodeo Drive. That is an accomplishment like no other.
But despite all these big, fat ticks that grace the ‘positives’ column, there are a bunch of things the Jeep Wrangler doesn’t do very well (and by that what we really mean is there are a bunch of things the Jeep Wrangler does dreadfully).
Safety That Sucks
Even if you have a personal injury lawyer on speed dial and know that Brown and Crouppen can help in the event of a crash, it is still better to cruise in a car where you feel safe and not one where, in the event of a crash, you may not even make it to the courtroom. Seriously, though, the Wrangler is shocking on this front, which is partly because its design is archaic and partly because the designers have focused all of their energy on the off-road capabilities, meaning normal roads are out of its comfort zone. Here are the facts. In the official NHTSA rollover tests, the two-door Wrangler scored a rather worrisome ‘marginal’ thanks to its high center of gravity. In the IIHS small overlap front impact, it also scored ‘marginal’. And again for the head restraints and seats, while it scored a ‘poor’ for side-impacts. Basically, unless you and your family live in the woods at the top of a rock-strewn mountain, this car will keep you awake at night.
Driving Is Dull
This car may well look the bee’s knees, but driving it is one of the most boring, soul-destroying and sleep-inducing cars on the road (and no one wants a sleep-inducing car that has a safety rating that’s as bad as Trump’s presidency). Don’t get us wrong, the 2017 model is a vast improvement on the last models, but it is as if they have simply rearranged the furniture on the Titanic. It bounces like a kid on an inflatable castle and it shimmies about on the road like it is being controlled by a malfunctioning Autobot. Yes, it is good off-road, and congratulations need to be granted on that front, but most people want an on-road car that gives you the option of going off-road, not an off-road car that gives you no hope of going on-road.
Comfort Is A Pipedream
Once again, it is fine off-road, but who cares! Seriously, how many people that can afford the Jeep Wrangler live in places that don’t have roads. Probably none. In short, driving on road is a horrendous experience. There is little-to-no passenger comfort on offer, the ride comfort is harsh at the best of times, the handling is erratic and the noise of the wind coursing through the cabin at higher speeds is about as close to unbearable as anything we have ever experienced. Well, that’s that covered.
We doubt you really need a summary, but here goes: please don’t fall for this car’s looks, and if that is too much to ask then just buy yourself a poster and stick it on your garage wall. You really will thank us.